There Is More: A Look At The Greek Definition of The Verse "Wives Submit To Your Husbands"

I went to hear a woman speak last week and she said the verse "wives submit to your husbands" was one of the most misused verses in the church. Deep down my heart agreed. I had always felt like there was more to this verse and I had yet to discover all of it's meaning. The speaker said that the word submit in this verse, when translated into English from Greek, did not have the same meaning as the English word submit. I did not write down her definition but I bought her book so I am still searching for the wording that she used. Her words left me on a search to find deeper truth to the meaning of this verse. I did find an article on God's Word to Women that explains it very well. It says the word submit does not mean obey, it means to lift up. "Wives lift up your husbands." Can you imagine if the Bible used this word instead of the word submit? I can tell you that every time I have encouraged or "lifted up" my husband that a miracle has taken place. I need to work harder to express my gratitude to him more often. I need to make more of an effort to lift him up.
I was sitting in church last Sunday and God reminded me of the new knowledge that I had of the authentic meaning of this definition of the words in this verse. He then reminded me of a time when my husband used this verse in a hurtful way in my life. We were looking at houses and I did not have a peace about buying a certain house that my husband wanted to buy. He got very upset with me one day and said "you are supposed to submit to me, we are going to buy this house." Let's just say that our evening was not pretty. I was not okay with being treated that way, with having that verse thrown at me in that way and I knew it was wrong. Being back in the moment at church, God whispered to me "what did you feel?" I knew right away. The experience made me feel like I was not valuable. So God said I want to heal this wound and let you know that "You are Valuable."
He God reminded me of another event that happened in my life. I was talking with my mother in law and I mentioned that my husband and I had gotten into a fight about something in the past. She got very upset and started telling me how I should submit to my husband and that I was not allowed to fight with him. I spoke up for myself at first and said that I had a different take on the verses and fights do happen in a marriage. However, she did not back down on her point, so I just decided to stop talking and move on. God whispered to me "how did you feel?" I said I felt like I didn't have a voice, like I was not valuable. He said "I want to heal this wound too and let you know that You Are Valuable." As I put the new meaning of this word into the space of this verse "Wives Lift Up Your Husbands," I felt a new sense of value. I felt like for the first time in my life, as a woman, I was important.
I heard Lisa Bevere speak on her new book about being a Lioness.  Lisa said that God gave her a dream about a Lioness and then began to teach her about it. She said that Jesus is the Lion and that we as the church, the bride, are the lioness. We fight the enemy with God and together the enemy is defeated. She spoke of how the military had called her to get her book study because they knew that if they could not reach the women in the countries they were going into that they could not help them to have victory. Without the women and men working together as a team they would not get the message of hope out to help these countries. Again I was hearing the theme, women have value. It gave me hope and once again I came alive as I was in my youth. I even found my voice.
I know God has called me to speak and write. I'm not sure how that will look or turn out.
I do want you to know this, that you are valuable. If anyone has ever misused this verse "Wives Submit to your Husbands" I pray right now that God would heal your heart and make it whole again. If you disagree with my definition, I am okay with that, but I challenge you to be open to something new and ask God to show you more about this verse. No matter what you feel, whether you want to hold onto the traditional definition of the word or you are embracing the meaning of the Greek that I found new life in, please know this, that You are Very Very Valuable.
And imagine that God himself is whispering to you, my Daughter, my bride, YOU ARE VALUABLE.

5 Signs You Are A People Pleaser

God has been teaching me a ton about people pleasing the last few months. He's been healing me of it. Getting healed is actually a very painful process but it's so awesome at the end!
This is what I have learned and I hope it helps someone.
1. You are in denial. Most people who are people pleasers are in denial. They do not think they have this problem. God had to give me the same book 3 times before I realized it was to help me.
2. You are never satisfied with your marriage. People pleasing is a form of lust. It's a need for someone else to love you besides God. Someone else to be proud of you, need you, cheer you on etc... These are all things that God can provide and He can use other people to encourage you but a people pleaser needs to find them in unhealthy ways.
3. You update your Facebook status constantly with religious things and great things about yourself. People pleasing shows up big time on Facebook. Everytime a people pleaser get a "like" they have a warm fuzzy feeling that they are loved. This can be okay if kept in balance but can easily become an addiction to write more.
4. You share about what you are doing that is religious - all the time. A lot of People Pleasing Christians fill their lives with Religious Pride and not God. There is a big difference. Religion begs us to write things on Facebook and share things with others for praise and approval and a pat on the back. About 4 years ago, God asked me to stop posting daily updates on Facebook. My friends were actually confused when I stopped and I honestly didn't even know why I did it, I just knew I should. People Pleasers can easily use this to steal glory from God. The people pleaser needs to write every single thing that God is doing on Facebook or ell everyone they know. They may share every single person who has been saved or every spiritual thing they did in the last month by speaking it or writing. They find significance and love in sharing that they are doing things for God to make people like them more, however God is the one who did the saving, healing etc and they are just a vessel. Sometimes they even get confused and feel that they have the gift of teaching, (some may actually have it, some may not.) This his a huge block from great intimacy with God. Some things God is doing are private between the person and God. It is okay to say God did this, God did that, I believe God loves that. He wants us to give Him credit. We can look at the root of why we are sharing things, to help the person have faith for themselves or to encourage them or to make them like us more.
5. You turn to porn or romantic fanticies. People pleasing usually pops up when someone feels unloved. They either go to God or something else at this time. Men tend to go to porn, women romantic fanticies, but they are both fake love.
If you struggle with porn or you dream of going on dates with people other than your spouse, you might be a people pleaser.
There are two types of people pleasers, the one that needs attention from everyone and the one who doesn't want attention from anyone. The one who does not need attention usually wants lots of attention from their immediate family only. They had a lot of negative attention as a child and they hide in hopes that negative attention won't come their way, however they crave lots of special attention from their family, usually in unhealthy ways.
If you think you struggle with people pleasing, it can keep you from full freedom in Christ.
Please seek counseling in this area. Grab a good book like Joyce Meyer's Approval Addiction: Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone or Jennifer Dukes Lee's Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval-and Seeing Yourself through God's Eyes.